As women, we can obsess over getting the perfect beach body. When we’ve got a holiday booked we start thinking about our diet and exercise regime. Even if we’re happy with our figure, we look for the perfect swimming costume that highlights our best features, or we might get a spray tan and dye our hair. It’s something that even the most confident and happy woman can worry about. But, do you know that men feel like this too?
They may not talk about it as much, but many men dread stripping off on the beach or avoid getting in the pool to play with their kids as they don’t want to take their shirt off. In fact, recent studies have shown that around a quarter of men between 20-30 worry about their appearance, some even suggest that men are more concerned about their body shape than women.
There is more pressure on men today to look good, they are encouraged to lose their Dad Bods and can be made uncomfortable seeing other men online, with their muscular physiques. They can worry about what their partners think of their body or embarrassing their children when they go out in shorts. It’s certainly not just women that face society’s pressure to look good. Men are feeling the strain too. If your husband or partner prefers to sit fully clothed, watching from the sidelines while the rest of the family jump around in the sea, it could well be that he’s having trouble with his confidence. Here are some things that you can do to give him a boost and make him more comfortable in his swim shorts.
Talk to Him
Women are much more likely to admit to confidence worries. Men are under pressure to look good, but also to keep things bottled up. Complaining about weight or insecurity is still very much seen as a female trait. There’s absolutely no reason for this. If you think he’s struggling, speak to him about it. Give him the chance to talk about his worries and open up about any concerns that he may have. It might well be that he just doesn’t like the water, but it’s still best to be open.
Target Specific Worries
Now that you are talking, you can address any specific concerns that he may have. If he was worried about hair loss, you could invest in some Regaine Extra Strength, and there is a lot that you can do to help other areas. Encourage him to be honest with you. What is it specifically that he’s worried about? Does he feel insecure about his stomach? His legs? His arms? Or just the idea of people looking at him and making comparisons? It could even be the idea that he’ll find himself making comparisons, that he’s worried about seeing other men and wishing he looked more like them.
Don’t Dismiss His Concerns
You love your partner. You find him attractive just the way he is. But, whatever his concerns are, whether you agree with them or not, it’s important that you don’t dismiss them. By all means, let him know that he looks fantastic and that you are more than happy with his appearance. But, let him know that if he wants to make changes, you are there to support and help him and that your feelings towards him won’t change either way.
If his worries are completely unfounded, perhaps he is worried about his weight, but it’s in a healthy range, then encourage him to tone up instead of losing weight and to find other ways to boost his confidence. Remember, ultimately, he has to build his confidence and self-esteem on his own, for himself, but that you should always be there to offer support, advice and encouragement.
Exercise is a fantastic confidence boost. Even if you are in great shape already, the extra endorphins rushing through your body will boost your mood and confidence. If you hit the gym first thing in the morning, you are almost certain to feel fantastic for the rest of the day. The only thing better is doing it with someone that you love. Go to the gym together, building a training plan together. Spend time pushing and challenging each other. Make it fun with small goals and rewards, then reward yourself with some treats. The more you enjoy yourselves, the more likely you are to stick to your plan.
If one, or both of you hate the idea of going to the gym, why not find an exercise that you do love? This could be anything. You might like running around your local park, swimming, fitness classes or going for long walks together. This will also give you a great chance to talk to each other without other distractions. It could reduce your stress levels and help your relationship as well as helping to keep you fit and healthy and boosting your confidence levels.
Another great option is joining a team. Team sports aren’t something that many of us do after school and joining a team when you haven’t played a sport for a long time if ever, can be intimidating, but there are plenty of different sports to choose from and even teams for complete beginners. Football, softball and roller derby are all fantastic options if you can find a mixed gender team.
Tell him how good he looks, but don’t just focus on his appearance. Compliment his cooking, his personality, how he is as a father. If there is something that you love about him, tell him. Tell him that you love him and let him know what exactly it is you love. Even the less obvious things, or the things that you know he doesn’t like about himself. Compliment him as often as possible.
Few couples are as physical years into their relationship than they are at the very beginning. But, touch is a wonderful way to show your love. Hold his hand, cuddle and kiss him in public. Stroke his hair. All of these small touches show him how proud you are. Walk down the street holding his hand with a massive smile on your face and show the world how proud you are of your partner.
Brag About Him
Tell everyone else how great he is too. Perhaps not that much that it gets annoying but share things with your family and friends. Tell them about things he’s done that have made you happy or things that he is good at. If he’s around, this will show him how highly you think of him. But, even if he’s not there to hear these compliments, they will change how your family and friends view him. Their opinion of him will change. They’ll start looking at him with increased love and respect, because of how happy he makes you. He’ll feel this boost and change in attitude even if it’s very subtle.
Be Body Positive Yourself
Most of the time, our partners think we look better than we do. There’ll be parts of your body that you hate, that your partner absolutely loves. They may even be their favourite parts of you. This works both ways. Make your partner see that you feel the same about him, but also stop being so negative about yourself. If you are always upset about the parts of you he loves, he could start to worry about what you think of his body.
Be positive. Learn to love yourself and create a positive atmosphere. Make your home a positive place where you celebrate what you love about yourselves and each other. This change of atmosphere can make your home a happier place, where people are free to feel good about themselves and each other.
Make an Effort
When we’re in a happy long-term relationship, it’s only natural to let things go a little. You’re not going to dress up for your husband every single day. It’s fine for him to see you in your sweats lounging around your house. It’s also fine for him to see you eat a tub of ice cream or not wash your hair for a week when you are ill. He’ll love you more for being allowed to see all of these things. But, occasionally making a big effort to get dressed up and look your best can help his confidence. He’ll feel amazing walking down the street with you on his arm. He’ll love the looks you both get together, and it’ll help him to feel better about himself.
Boosting confidence can take a long time. Focus on things that you can do together, as a family that will help him. Ban negativity, be careful not to plant hurtful words in his mind and make sure he knows that you love him just as he is every single day. Go shopping for your holiday together and spend time buying beachwear that he loves and feels confident in.